The Path to Enlightenment
by ULTRAnumb
Summary: Bella is a rich girl who doesn't act like a rich girl. Edward is a rich boy who does act like a rich boy. Bella hates everything that Edward stands for. He's everything that Bella destests. Isn't he?
1. Prologue

**Hey. This is my new story. I hope people enjoy this as much as they like my first story, Ten Years Is Hard To Forgive And Forget. This is totally different to Ten Years, but as all my stories will ever be, is an Edward and Bella story. It's just the way I am. I could never write a love story about Bella and Jacob. Fir me, Bella and Edward are meant to be, and I just can't bring myself to write anything else! I'm sorry to Jacob lovers. Especially in this story. You will see why later on! LOL! Anyway, enjoy darlings!!**

**~ Ruusu.**

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**B POV**

My name's Bella Swan. Actually, it's Isabella, but I hate people calling me that. I'm 17 years old and live in a town called Forks. I hate it here. It's always raining and there's pretty much nothing to do. I long to travel the world. As soon as I finish school, I want to travel. Not go to college like my parents want me to. I want to go to Africa or India and help the people less well off than me. See, my parents are pretty rich. But that's not enough to make me popular at school. It was at first, but I hate fake people, and all of those that are part of the 'in crowd' at Forks High are all just that. Fake. They think they are better than everyone else, but they are not. All they care about is themselves and having the latest fashion or gadget or the fastest car. I have never understood how they can live that way. How they can watch or read the news and then bare to look at themselves in the mirror.

I have no friends. I'm just the weird little rich girl who is a vegetarian, a Buddhist and wears ethical, fair-trade clothes. I don't care about any of them. They are fake, mean, uncaring, heartless morons. Although I have no friends, I know everyone in town, and they are all the same. I can't bare it. Most of the kids weren't even born to money. Their parents just won the lottery, or got lucky with shares or some shit. I come from old money, not that it means much to me. Being a Buddhist, I don't believe in material things. Don't get me wrong, I don't not own anything and I don't go without, I love music and buying CD's, I drive a good car, I have what I consider to be nice clothes, I just don't think material things are the most important things in the world. I'd rather help people. To me morals, ethics and compassion for fellow humans are the most important things.

My parents hate the way I am. Especially my mother. They think I don't act appropriately for someone who comes from old money. They think that this fact puts them above others in town. And people act as though it's true!

And the kids at school! They are all just fake, fake, fake. The worst of the lot are the Cullen's and their little crowd. Urgh. They disgust me. Emmett Cullen is big, rude and dumb. His girlfriend, Rosalie Hale is just a total bitch. Alice Cullen is a complete freak. Her boyfriend Jasper Hale (Rosalie's brother) is just so cold. He never shows any kind of emotion. And Edward Cullen? Well, he looks like a god, has a great body, the most incredible hair and eyes, and is a complete arsehole. All the girls throw themselves at him, and I figure that he's slept with pretty much the entire female population of the school, with the exception of his sister and Rosalie. He acts like he is king of the school and everyone follows what he says or does. It's pathetic. As gorgeous as he may be, he is only a boy. And a nasty, manipulative, foul one at that.

What do I want in a guy? Hmmm. Someone who is intelligent, romantic, kind, musical, quiet, compassionate, ethical, moral and respectful. I know, it's a lot to ask for, and I'm defiantly not going to ever find that in Forks.

Oh well. I only had one more year left of school and them I could go and live my life how _I_ wanted. Not how people thought I should. All I had to do was survive one more year of school. Of being an outcast. Of being tormented by the Cullen's and the rest of the 'in crowd'. God I hated it here. And I hated every last one of the inhabitants of Forks. And that was something that would never change.

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**So, what d'you think? Does it sound any good? Should I carry on with it? Please review and let me know!**

**~ Ruusu.**


	2. School Daze

**B POV**

_Beep._

Oh hell no.

_Beep._

Shit.

_Beep._

Shhiiittt!

_Beep._

Oh fuck off!

_Beep._

Oh, alright already! I'm up. I'm up.

I opened my eyes slowly. Wishing that it was still the holidays. But no. It was the first day of term. The only upshot of it was that it was also the last year. By July I'd be free of this hell hole known as Forks.

Another day at Forks High. I pulled myself out of bed and stretched and yawned.

I dragged myself downstairs to the kitchen and found some pop tarts and grabbed a glass of orange juice. I ate the pop tarts cold, not in the mood to wait for them to heat up. I quickly washed them down with the juice before hauling myself back up stairs.

I showered quickly and dried my hair. I decided to straighten it today. I don't know why, I just felt like it. I flung my cupboard open and tried to decide what to wear. I decided on pair of simple dark grey corduroy jeans and a pretty dark blue gypsy style top. I pulled on a pair of black ballet pumps to complete the look. I grabbed my school bag and my I-pod and ran down stairs. I skirted past my mother, who was in the kitchen, and snatched my car keys from the key hook in the hallway. I slipped out of the door before I had to speak to either of them. Of course, it didn't work. My mother came out of the kitchen and called me back. I sighed and turned around to face her.

"Isabella. I want you to talk to people this year. All this....Buddhism and everything...it's getting stupid. You were born in to good, old money. You should try acting like it. The Cullen's for example. They act like they should. They don't keep going on about people you have no connection with needing _your_ money. If they need money they can earn it themselves. They don't need us to pay out for them, unless we pay their wages by virtue of them working for us."

I sighed again. I got this lecture every year. Didn't change anything.

"Yes Mother. I'll try. I have to go. Heaven forbid I'm late the first day back."

With that I turned and walked to my car. I loved my car. It was a crimson red Audi TT. I may have been a Buddhist, but cars where my weakness. I wasn't an expert on them or anything, but I did love them. I only had a few weaknesses. They were cars, books and CD's. Oh, and my beloved piano. I wasn't an amazing pianist, but I adored playing. My beautiful piano sat in the family room, at the back of the room next to a huge window wall. I was the only one who played it.

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I pulled up at the school. Urgh. School. Still, I felt more confident today seeing as I knew that I only had this year left and then would be able to get out of here.

I climbed out of my car and grabbed my bag before locking it. I started walking up to the entrance when I saw the car pulling up. It was a gorgeous black Aston Martin V12 Vanquish. I worshipped that car. I'd probably worship the driver too, what with how god like he looked, if he wasn't such a bastard. Edward Cullen. Along with his brother Emmett and their friend Jasper Hale, he was one of the kings of the school. And of course his sister Alice and Jasper's sister Rosalie were the queens of the school. They were practically Forks royalty. Their father was a highly praised doctor and their mother was a world renowned interior designer. Although they both worked hard, they both came from 'old money'. My parents were considered as the other royal family of Forks. But while the Cullen's had their two princes and a princess, my parents had the disgrace of a child. The one who was a social outcast and all round freak. Well you know what? I didn't give a flying fuck. There's a saying that I love; 'I'd rather be shunned for what I truly am, than accepted for what I'm truly not.'

Still, it would be nice to have someone in this shitty town who liked me for me. And accepted the way I was. For most of my life I had wished that Edward would like me, but he never even looked at me. Even before I became a Buddhist and a humanitarian. He was just an arsehole like that. We used to be friends once. We had been friends since we were really little. Then, I don't know, we just stopped playing together when we were eight. He just stopped coming over, and I stopped going over there. I never understood why. We were always so close back then. I remember that he used his pocket money to buy one of those little lucky dip capsules for me once. You know the ones you get from the machine that contain a toy or something? Well, this one had a little, pale green plastic ring in it that he gave to me. I still had that ring in my jewellery box. We had been about five when he gave it to me. I don't know why I still had it to be honest. It certainly didn't fit me anymore.

I used to be a total spoilt brat back then. Then I developed a conscience at the age of about ten and never looked back.

I shook my head to clear it of the memories and carried on towards the school.

As I walked, I suddenly noticed that a lot of people were staring at me.

_I don't have shit on my face do I??_

Someone wolf whistled at me. Another winked.

_What the fuck is going on today? Seriously, do I have hit on my face? Or maybe my bra is hanging out?_

I glanced down quickly, but no. No bra showing. I glanced back. No. My skirt was perfect. Not caught up showing my arse. So what where they all staring at?

"Hey, Isabella!"

I turned to see who had called me.

_Fucking Mike Newton._

"So, what happened to you?"

I just stared at him, completely at a loss as to what he was talking about.

"Over the holiday?"

I just shook my head at him, still uncomprehending.

"I mean, what happened? You look fucking hot! Never thought I'd see the day that I'd call Isabella Swan hot!" he then started laughing with all of his friends and started walking over to meet the Cullens.

"Fuck you Newton!" I yelled after him. "Like I'd want you to find me hot anyway!"

He spun round to face me. The Cullens had just reached him.

"And whys that Swan?" he sneered.

"Well, if you found me hot, I might actually have to fucking talk to you!"

Everyone started laughing. Only this time, they weren't laughing at me. They were laughing and pointing at Mike.

"As it is," I continued, "I'd rather beat myself around the head with a block of gold wrapped in lemon, then ride a motorbike in a bikini, fall off on purpose, and get major road rash and then rub salt into the wounds, than speak to you!"

I was shocked when Emmett Cullen nearly fell to the ground clutching his stomach with laughter at the last comment.

Even Edward smirked. He glanced up at me and our eyes met. He looked almost curious. I had to look away from the intensity of his gaze.

I swung around and strode towards the school without looking back.

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The day past slowly. As usual. Finally it was time for the last lesson of the day. Biology. I hate the teacher with a vengeance. She is nasty, stuck up and condescending.

"Ok," our teacher, Ms Moss said, "this year we are going to have a seating plan. It will not be changed."

Oh great. This had to end badly, unless she sat me by myself. She started rattling through the list of students and pointing to the seats she wanted them in. When she finally made it to my name, I nearly ran back out of the classroom.

"Miss Swan, at the back next to Mr Cullen, please."

_Oh....mother pus bucket!_

This was not going to be good. Edward and I hated each other.

I walked slowly to the back of the class, praying that I wouldn't trip over.

Whoops. That jinxed it.

I fell.

Typical.

And what did I trip on you ask? Well, it wasn't air this time. Oh no. It was a fucking pencil. Damn.

I landed on my knees and, somehow, managed to put my hands out and push myself up again - before I face planted. I then carried on the movement and rocked back straight to my feet.

_Wow. That was pretty graceful. For me at least._

Everyone had started laughing as I fell, but a few people actually clapped as I executed the most graceful move any of them had ever seen me perform.

I stalked to my chair and quickly sat down, blushing crimson as always.

I pulled my books out and stared at the front of the class.

I could see Edward looking at me in my peripherals.

He looked strangely curious again, just as he had this morning.

"Class," Ms Moss called, "I would like you to meet our new student, Jacob Black. I'm sure some of you have already met him in previous classes, but for those who haven't yet had the pleasure, he just moved here from Miami. Please make him feel welcome. Mr Black, if you could please take the free seat in front of Mr Cullen and Miss Swan please?"

I looked up and watched as a fairly attractive boy walked to the desk in front of us. He had long black hair and reddish skin. He looked as though he was at least part Native American.

He sat down and grinned back at us.

"Ok class. Please get to work. You may talk quietly amongst yourselves." Ms Moss told us once she had given us our assignment for the day.

I picked up my pen and looked down at my paper.

"Hi." I heard from in front of me. "I'm Jacob, but people call me Jake."

I assumed he must me talking to Cullen, so I carried on with my work.

"Hello? Miss..Swan, wasn't it?"

My head shot up and my pen clattered to the floor. I quickly bent to pick it up before looking at the boy in front of me.

He smiled at me and held out his hand.

"As I said," he chuckled, "I'm Jake. And you are?"

"I-Isabella." I stuttered, shocked that he was speaking to me.

"Isabella. Nice name. It's nice to meet you." he sounded so sincere that I was sure I'd fall of my chair.

He shook my hand and turned to Cullen.

"Yo. I'm Jake."

"Edward. Pleased to meet you." He sounded anything but.

In fact, when Jake turned back to his table, Edward was glaring at his back.

_What the fuck is with him? What, so cos the new guy had the audacity to speak to worthless freak Swan first, he must deserve to be hated? Fuck that. Poor guy. He was just being nice._

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At the end of class I stood and packed my bag.

"Hey, Isabella."

I turned to see Jake grinning at me.

"I was thinking, seeing as I'm new, would you mind, I dunno, maybe showing me around town sometime?"

"Sure." I said, shocked, but kinda pleased.

"Cool. So, how far from school do you live Isabella?"

"Not far. About ten minutes away by car. And please, call me Bella. Only my parents and people who hate me call me Isabella. I hate being called that."

"No worries. But, surely it's only your parents who call you that then? I can't imagine why anyone would hate you."

I laughed harshly.

"That's cos you don't know me. If you wanna know why people would hate me, ask Cullen. I'm sure he wouldn't mind telling you what a freak I am."

I glanced over my shoulder as I said this, jerking my head toward Edward.

Much to my shock he didn't start slagging me off. In fact, he didn't even glare. He just frowned at me and, if it was even possible, looked a little hurt. He quickly composed his face into a glare though and stalked past me.

Jacob and I walked out to our cars, chatting and getting to know each other. He was nice. And it was nice to actually talk to someone. We agreed on hanging out on Saturday and I would show him around town. He smiled and waved goodbye as I climbed into my car.

_Wow. I might actually have a friend this year._

As I pulled out of the school car park I saw Edward Cullen staring at me. As he had all day, he had a curious look in his eyes as he watched me.

_God only knows what's up with him. Maybe he's planning another prank on me. Stuck up rich boy._

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**Sorry it took a while to get up. I've been working on my other story, 'Ten Years is Hard to Forgive and Forget' at the same time as this one. Hope you liked this chappie, darlings!**

**Review and let me know what you thought! I live for that shit! LOL!**

**Next one **_**should**_**, hopefully, be up in a day or so. Though, if it isn't up by Friday, it prolly won't be up till Sunday night or Monday, cos it's my best friend's birthday party on Saturday, so I won't be doing much writing that day, if any.**

**~Ruusu.**


	3. All We Know

**B POV**

Three weeks had pat since the start of the school term, and it was easily the best so far.

Then again, that may just be because it was the last year.

Jacob hung around with me every day. Although he was nice, he did impose on my personal space a bit too much for comfort.

Everyone still treated me the same at school. Except Edward. For some reason, he wasn't playing pranks on me. He wasn't leaving notes on my locker calling me a freak and a bitch. He wasn't doing anything. Except looking at me. And that was worse than anything else he could do. I hated attention anyway, but when Edward stared, it made me wonder what he was thinking. It made me anxious as to _why_ he was staring. And it wasn't even a glare. It was...such a curious look. And he looked....torn. Like he didn't know what to do.

Not to mention that Mike Newton had come up to me on Wednesday and invited me to his party this weekend. His parents were away for the weekend and had told him he could have a party at theirs.

_**Flashback**_

"_Hey! Isabella!"_

_I turned to look at him. Goddamn Newton._

"_So, I'm having a party this Saturday."_

"_Yeah, and? What do you want, a round of applause?"_

"_Funny. No, I wanted to know if you'd come?"_

"_You want me to go to your party?" I repeated, incredulously._

"_Yeah. It's gonna be, like, so awesome."_

_I just stared at him in shock._

"_Well? You wanna come to it?"_

"_Uhhh...I'll think about it, alright? I don't know what I'm doing this Saturday."_

"_Oh. Ok. Well, let me know yeah?"_

"_Yeah. Sure."_

_I walked away feeling rather stunned and a little confused as to why he wanted me to go._

_I wasn't of course. He probably wanted me there so they had someone to laugh at._

_There was no way I was going to Newton's party._

_**End Flashback**_

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It was Friday evening and I was washing my car.

"Isabella."

Damn. My mother.

"Isabella. Come here."

I pulled myself away from cleaning my beloved car and stomped into the house.

"What, mother?"

"You just had a phone call."

"Why didn't you call me while they were on the phone?!"

"Because he didn't want to interrupt you cleaning your car."

"I should call him back. Thanks."

"Don't you want to know who it was?"

"It was Jake." I stated, pulling out my phone. No one else would call me.

My mother looked rather smug and pleased.

"Nope. It was Mike Newton."

I dropped my phone in shock.

"Newton?" I gasped.

"Yes. He's a lovely boy, Isabella. Anyway, he just wanted to know if you were going to the party tomorrow."

She smiled proudly.

"See," she said, "I told you that all you had to do was talk to people. I'm so glad that you are talking to such wonderful people at last! So, what are you going to wear?"

"Well...I...I'm not sure I'm going."

"What?!" she screeched.

"I've got quite a bit of school work to do for Monday. I wanted to work on it over the weekend -"

She cut me off before I could finish.

"No, Isabella. You have all of Sunday to do school work. You are seventeen years old and you should be out with your friends."

"Yes, but Mike -"

"I already told Mike that you would be attending."

"WHAT?! Why would you do that without asking me first?"

"Because Isabella, you would have made the same stupid excuse as you just tried to make. You are going."

"No," I snarled, "I am not."

"Your father is in agreement with me. It's time you started behaving as we raised you to."

I took a breath to tell her exactly what I thought of her when my father walked in.

"Isabella Marie Swan. You are going to Mike Newton's party tomorrow, and that's final."

"ARGH!" I screamed furiously before storming up to my room.

Great. I was going to Mike fucking Newton's party. I wanted to kill myself.

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I glanced at the clock on my wall. It was half six. Shit. I better start getting ready. I had to be at Newton's at seven. I seriously hated my parents. I really didn't want to go, but my father was driving me there and would be picking me up at one in the morning. And they would be checking with Mike that I had actually been there and not left as soon as they left me.

_What to wear, what to wear...._

I didn't want to wear anything that would make me stand out more than necessary.

I settled on a long white gypsy skirt and a dark blue blouse. I wore my favourite silver ballet pumps. I let my hair fall in its natural waves today. I put on a small amount of make-up. Just some eyeliner, mascara and a little eye shadow.

My father drove me to Newton's place at ten to seven. We arrived at dead on seven.

He sat in the car and watched until I was in the house. I'm sure he sat around the corner too, just to make sure I didn't try to leave as soon as he had gone.

"Isabella! You made it!" Mike called as I walked in.

"Yeah. Didn't have much choice, seeing as you phoned my mother."

He laughed. "Yeah, thought you might be embarrassed to ask otherwise."

"Embarrassed. Right."

"Well, there are drinks in the kitchen, so help yourself! Everyone should be here soon."

"Great." More people to laugh at me.

This was going to be a long night.

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It was about ten o'clock. God I was bored. I had just walked around all night with a drink. I was only on my third drink though. Most people just ignored me, but Mike wouldn't leave me alone. He kept dragging me over to stand with him while he talked to someone, or playing with my hair or touching me somehow. It was getting on my nerves. All I wanted was to leave, but then I'd get into another argument with my parents.

I finally managed to get away from Mike by telling him that I needed some air. He offered to come with me, but I told him I wouldn't be long. I worked my way to the back door and slipped out into the garden.

I took a deep breath and started walking around the garden. It felt nice to have escaped from the house for a while. As I walked I ended up down near the river at the bottom of the garden. It was really dark down there, but at least Newton wouldn't be able to find me for a while.

As I walked round a tree I suddenly tripped over something. At first I thought it was a root, but then I heard a muffled "Ow" from the ground.

"Oh! Oh god! I'm so sorry! I didn't see you!" I cried, scrambling to my knees.

"No worries. It's my own fault for sitting here." a deep, velvety voice laughed.

"Well, I guess not many people would be coming down here, so you wouldn't have needed to worry about it. I am really sorry though. I didn't hurt you did I? I thought I tripped over a root. I must have kicked you pretty hard."

"No. I'm alright. It hurt a bit, but it's nothing major. More a dull throb."

"Well, I'm glad."

"So, why are you down here? Not enjoying the party?"

"You could say that. Newton won't leave me alone."

"Ah. Newton's a prick. He treats women like shit. I'd keep as far from him as you can if I were you."

"Thanks for the advice. I plan on it. Why are you down here?"

"It's not my scene. I'm just here to keep up appearances."

"Ah."

We started talking, me and this stranger with the beautiful, soothing, velvety voice. It was odd, but it felt familiar, talking to this person. Only, not recently familiar. More like, distantly familiar. Like I had done this before, a long time ago.

As we talked, I discovered more about him than I had ever discovered about anyone else before. Even Jacob.

He loved classical music. He liked art and often drew or painted when he wanted to relax. He loved nature. He hated war and pain. He wished he could do more to help those less fortunate than himself. He gave as much as he could to different charities, but wanted to actually _do_ something to help. He loved cars. He was an avid reader. He wrote poetry.

_Oh my god. Where have you been all my life, baby? You are everything I could ever want!_

How had I never met this person before?

As we talked, a light came on at the top of the garden, which lit up the area around us.

I blinked a few times and then gasped when my eyes focused on my companion of the last god knows how long.

_Edward Cullen!_

We stared at each other in shock. Edward opened his mouth to speak at the same time I did.

Suddenly we heard a voice calling.

"Isabella! Are you out here?"

Oh god. Newton. I let out a groan. Now what?

Edward watched me intently for a moment, then glanced back to where Mike was coming from.

"Stay here and keep quiet." he told me, before disappearing around the tree.

"Mike." I heard him call.

"Cullen!" Mike cried, shocked. "What are you doing out here, man?"

"I needed some air. I felt a bit rough."

"Oh, cool. Have you seen Swan anywhere? I seem to have lost her!"

"No." I heard Edward say. "No. It's just me out here."

"Damn. She came out ages ago to get some air too. I haven't seen her since. No one has."

"Well, sorry I can't be more help. I've been down here for a while and no one's been down here since I got here."

"You sure? It's pretty dark down here. She might have been sitting down there."

"It's also pretty quiet down here Mike. I'm not that drunk. I would have heard if someone had been down here."

I stood hidden behind the tree, barely breathing for fear of Newton finding me. I couldn't understand why Cullen would be lying to his friend for me. Although he did call him a prick and a womaniser. But still. Why lie for me?

Mike must have left because Edward suddenly came around the tree again.

"You should go back up to the house. It's after 12."

"Ummm...yeah. Uh, thanks. For not telling Mike I was here I mean."

"Yeah. Whatever."

I stared walking away when he called out.

"Isabella."

I turned back to face him.

"Don't tell anyone. Anything I said, I mean."

"Of course not." I snapped angrily. "You wouldn't want anyone to know you're so pathetic that you give a shit about people. I can't imagine anything worse."

I saw his jaw clench.

"Yeah, I have a reputation that I'd like to keep. At least I wasn't a spoilt little brat who stopped hanging out with her friend for no fucking reason, after being friends their whole lives."

"What the fuck did you say?" I snarled, spinning to face him again.

"You heard me. What, even when we were eight years old, you were too good to hang out with me? I was that beneath you that you decided to just stop hanging out with me, without even telling me why?"

"I stopped hanging out with you?! You stopped hanging out with me! I was really upset when you stopped coming round and my mother told me how she had a phone call from your mother telling her that you had said you didn't want to be friends anymore! Back then you couldn't even tell me to my face that you didn't like me! And yet now, oddly enough, you can't seem to tell me enough! Well you know what? I cried for ages after my mother told me that. I wish I had known what you really were. What you would become. Then I never would have had to fucking bother with the tears!"

With that I turned and ran up to the house, not looking back.

When I reached the house, I went and sat near the window so that I could see my father when he pulled up. That way I could leave straight away. I knew I shouldn't have come.

My father arrived shortly after and I left without saying goodbye to anyone except Mike.

The car ride was silent and I went straight to my room without speaking to my parents. I just wanted to be alone. All tonight had done was bring up the pain I had felt once Edward stopped being friends with me all those years ago.

I didn't believe anything he had said tonight now. He had known it was me sitting there with him. He had fed me lines to make me think he was decent so that he could use it against me. Well it wasn't going to work. I knew what he had been planning. I wouldn't let it get to me. I wouldn't let him use anything against me.

I went to my jewellery box and pulled out the little green plastic ring. I wanted to throw it away. But when I held it over the bin, I couldn't get my hand to open to drop it.

I sighed and sat on the bed, the ring still in my hand.

I carefully slipped it onto my little finger on my left hand. It fit well on that finger. I went to take it off, but again, my hand wouldn't do what I told it.

_Or maybe, just maybe, it's your heart that won't listen. Maybe your heart won't let go._

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**Yay! Second chappie! Hope it's alright guys. Sorry it took a while.**

**Please review! I love it when you do!**

**~ Ruusu**


	4. That Was Yesterday

**B POV**

I woke up at six the next morning. I had had a restless night. I kept tossing and turning and waking up. I probably only got about two and a half hours sleep all night. Laying there I thought about going back to sleep, but I knew I wouldn't be able to. I wasn't even sure that I wanted to. All night I kept having strange dreams about Edward.

In my dreams he kept changing. One moment he was a smiling five year old, holding my hand and slipping the little plastic ring on my finger, the next he was a glaring fifteen year old, standing over me with his arms crossed. Another moment he would change to a wild, playful seven year old, again holding my hand, this time pulling me along through the woods and getting into all kinds of mischief. Then he would turn to the hateful seventeen year old he was now.

I kept seeing him as he was last night. I kept hearing his voice. The things he had said when we had been in the dark. I couldn't forget the passion in his voice as he spoke about his love of art. Then I would hear the spiteful tone he had used when blaming me for our lost friendship.

_How the fuck dare he?! Did he get hit on the head or something? How dare he blame me?! He was the one who didn't want to be my friend!_

I dropped my head into my hands and let me tears fall. I was so confused. He had been my best friend for years, and then he had broken my heart. Now he blamed me for it. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I could do.

I sighed and took deep breaths to stop my tears. As soon as I did, I jumped up and ran to the shower.

_I really need to get out of this house. I need to be alone!_

Once I was washed and dressed I raced out of the front door.

I didn't pick up my car keys. I didn't want to drive. I wanted to ride. I ran to the stable beside the house and started to get my horse ready.

My parents had bought me my horse when I was eight. Just after Edward stopped coming round. They had hoped to cheer me up. It had worked. To an extent. My horse was a beautiful palomino Quarter Horse mare. She had been four when I got her. She was now thirteen. Her name was Eponine. She was named after a character from the musical, Les Misérables. Edward's parents had taken us to see it when we were eight. Shortly before he had ended our friendship.

As soon as she was tacked up I led her from the yard over to the edge of the forest. I swung onto her back and gently nudged her sides to move her on. As we rode I thought about my dreams again. I didn't understand why I would be having them now. I hadn't thought about it all for so long. I lifted my left hand and gazed at the little plastic ring on my little finger. I hadn't been able to take it off last night. If I was being honest with myself, I hadn't _wanted_ to be able to take it off.

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I rode for a couple of hours, just walking and trotting. I finally looked around me and didn't know where I was, only it seemed familiar. I thought and looked around myself before I suddenly recognised the area I was in.

_Oh my god! I haven't been here in so long! I'd forgotten all about it!_

I slipped out of the saddle and hopped to the ground. I turned Eponine to the left and walked her through the trees. I saw the path ahead growing brighter and brighter.

I gasped as we broke through the trees. I was in a meadow.

I hadn't been here in years. Since I was eight in fact. Edward and I had found this meadow when we were seven years old. We had been walking the Cullen's old dog, Beni, and had gotten lost and stumbled across the meadow. We had been in awe of how beautiful the place had been. It had been misty in Forks that day, and was there too, but, it being higher up the side of a mountain, we had been out of the cloud cover. Although it had still been misty, the sun had been shining brightly and bathing the meadow in a strange light. Everything was cast in blues and pinks. The wild flowers were bright and perfect. The grass came over our waists. We had spent a few hours here that day. When we left, we had followed Beni back, as he had sniffed his way down the path we had come, and had picked bunches of flowers and had tied them to trees along the way, so that we could find our way back whenever we wanted. After that day, we had returned to our meadow at least once a week. When Edward and I had stopped being friends, I had tried to come here, but I hadn't been able to find it again.

It was as beautiful now as it had been back then. I led Eponine to the middle and dropped to my knees. I stared around and sighed. I shifted so that I was sitting down and then drew my knees to my chest. I watched as Eponine started milling around, grazing. As always, she stayed near me as she did so. I was soon lost to my thoughts of Edward and what we used to mean to each other.

I was startled from my memories by a voice nearby, carried on the gentle breeze.

"What should I do, boy? Huh? After what Mom told me, I need to try and make things right. Don't I?"

I knew that voice. The soft, smooth velvet sound was so different from the harsh, cruel voice I had heard for the past few years.

_Edward!_

I flew to my feet and stared around the meadow.

" 'Ponine!" I called desperately.

Eponine came cantering to my side instantly.

I vaulted onto her back.

I saw a movement in the trees and suddenly a big German Sheppard dog came bounding out of the forest.

"Gav!"

The dog skidded to a halt. Although it didn't take its eyes off me, it also didn't move.

Edward came racing from the trees a moment later. When he saw me, he snapped to a sharp halt and stared at me. His eyes widened so much that they looked as though they were about to bug out of his head.

I gathered up the reins and was about to turn Eponine away when Edward spoke.

"What are you doing here?"

No. No. I wasn't going to let him hurt me again. He had done it once, and had made me feel so worthless all these years. I wasn't going to let him upset me again. I refused to cry anymore tears over him.

"Just because you're rich, doesn't mean you own Forks, Cullen. I can go wherever the fuck I want!"

I tugged swiftly on the reins and spun Eponine around and then kicked her lightly till she broke into a canter.

"Isabella!"

No.

I lent forwards to Eponine's ears and whispered, "Let her rip, 'Ponine! Let her rip!"

With that she launched herself into a thundering gallop.

I pushed her to the edge of the forest and into the trees. I kept her at a gallop until I couldn't hear the sound of Edward's dog barking any longer. Only then did I ease up on her, though I still kept her cantering. I needed to get away from Edward as quickly as possible.

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Once we reached home I washed Eponine down quickly, and let her into the field. I then ran into the house and, seeing as no one was in, went to my piano. I needed to calm myself down.

As I started playing I thought again about how my life had ended up.

I had cried for so long over Edward. For four years I had been plagued by dreams and nightmares of him. I had cried so much. Well no more. I wouldn't cry over him anymore. He was fake and a liar. He had hurt me so much. I would _never_ cry over Edward Cullen again. Never.

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**There. Another chappie for you! Sorry it took a while. Writer's block is a total bitch. It struck me good recently. I haven't been able to write either of my Twilight fan fics or my book. Damn. Oh well, I think I'm alright now.**

**As always, please review! You know how much I love that shit darlings!**

**~ Ruusu.**


	5. Author Note!

**Author Note!**

**Ok guys, this is gonna be pretty much the only author note that I will do separate from chapters. This is very important though. I do not wish to confuse my readers, but I decided to change my pen name from Ruusu, to ULTRAnumb. Please forgive me for any confusion or inconvenience. I just didn't want to be Ruusu anymore. I am sick of overusing it and needed a change. Also, ULTRAnumb....it just sounds soooo much more awesome, don't ya think?! LOL!**

**Also, I have a twitter page for people to follow. If, for whatever reason, I am unable to update a story when I am supposed to, instead of leaving an author's note and pissing everyone off by making them think it is a new chappie, I will be posting it on there. You can find my page at https://twitter(dot)com/ULTRAnumb**

**Thanks guys, again, sorry for any confusion.**

**- ULTRAnumb, (formally, Ruusu.) **


	6. Stand My Ground

**B POV**

After seeing Edward in our meadow on Saturday, I refused to step outside the house, instead spending Sunday playing my piano and reading. I couldn't bare the possibility of running into Edward again. I couldn't let him have anything to use on me. I was dreading Monday. I would have to face him at school. He'd probably told the whole school how I was a nutter who ran away from him.

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_Bella_.........._Bella._

Beep.

_Please_.........._Please._

Beep.

_Don't go_.........._Don't go._

Beep.

_Bella, please, don't go._

Beep.

_I love you._

I opened my eyes slowly.

_What an odd dream..._

The voice in my dream had been muffled and echoed. I had no idea who been speaking to me. I sighed and rolled out of bed. Literally. I rolled right of the side and face planted the floor.

_Good morning floor. How are you today?_

I groaned and dragged myself to my feet before stumbling into my bathroom.

I blinked and stared at my reflexion in the mirror. I looked dreadful. Like I hadn't had any sleep in three days.

_Oh wait. I haven't._ I thought dryly.

Oh well. I'll just have to make the best of it won't I?

After dragging myself to my bathroom and washing and dressing, I headed down stairs and grabbed the box of Lucky Charms from the cupboard. I didn't bother putting it in a bowl, instead just grabbing a large handful and running out of the front door.

I really didn't feel like hanging around this morning. My mother had been driving me mad the last few days.

I jumped in my car and drove to school, trying not to think about the fact that I would see Edward today for the first time since Saturday.

I climbed out of the car after pulling up in the school car park and grabbed my bag from the boot.

As I locked the car, a gorgeous black Aston Martin pulled up in the space next to me.

_Oh, good lord. I don't need this first thing in the morning!_

I was about to turn away when I heard him call me.

"Isabella!"

I stopped and sighed heavily.

"What, Cullen?" I snapped.

He seemed taken aback by my anger.

"Well...I just...I mean...I just wanted...."

"Spit it out already Cullen. I need to go talk to a teacher about something."

Before he could answer a big, beat up, red truck pulled up on the other side of my car.

_God I hate that thing. Why can't he drive something better?_

"Good morning Bells!"

"Morning Jakey!"

"Isabella..."

"Look Cullen, I'm not in the mood for you being a dick today. Believe it or not, I don't exist for you to pick on and push around."

He flinched at the harshness in my voice.

_Good. He better know that I've had enough of his shit._

Jake laughed as he walked over to me.

"Nice Bells."

He stopped next to me and draped his arm around my shoulders.

I held back the shudder that I felt when he did so. I really hated his obsession with physical contact.

"Thanks."

Jacob glared at Edward spitefully.

"So, this asshole getting on your nerves Bellsy?"

"What does it have to do with you, Black?" Edward snarled.

"Other than the fact that you're a dick to my girl?"

Edward's eyes flashed to me as Jake spoke.

_Huh. Wonder what that was about?_

"Come on, Jake. I gotta go talk to Moss."

I tugged on his arm to get him away from Edward.

"Wait!" Edward called.

"Cullen, just fuck off!"

I turned and stormed into the school.

_I hate him! I hate him I hate him! I fucking hate him!_

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He kept following me around all day. He jumped out on me several occasions.

-----------------------------------------------------

"Isabella!"

"Urgh! Cullen, just fuck off!"

I turned my back on him and ignored him.

-----------------------------------------------------

"Swan!"

"Cullen, will you stop following me around?! God, it's getting fucking creepy!"

-----------------------------------------------------

"Hey, wait up!"

"Cullen! Seriously, this is already getting old! Fuck off already!"

-----------------------------------------------------

I stormed around school for the rest of the day trying to avoid Edward, but he kept showing up and trying to talk to me. Or start on me. I was so sick of it by the end of the day that I could have cried. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction though.

I was making my way down the empty corridors at the end of the day when he stepped around the corner. I tried to turn around and walk back the way I had come.

"Isabella! Wait!"

I ignored him and kept on walking.

Suddenly I felt him grab my wrist.

I whipped around to face him.

"Isabella, stop running from me!"

I looked away. I knew I couldn't break his hold, so now I was at his mercy.

"Please." I whispered.

He looked shocked to hear me whispering instead of yelling.

"Please. Please, just leave me alone."

"But- "

"Please!" I begged. "I can't take this anymore! Don't you think you've hurt me enough over the years? I'm sick of being paranoid about you pulling some fucking prank on me! I'm sick of always having to look over my shoulder to make sure you don't throw something at me! You hate me, I get it, but enough is enough! Just leave me alone!"

"Isabella, please. I'm not pulling a prank on you. I just want to talk to you."

"Why the hell would you want to talk to me? You've made it clear all these years that you hate me!"

"Because...because I found something out and...and I want to say sorry. - "

"Sorry?! You think sorry is enough for what you've done to me?!"

"No. Not nearly. But I need to explain -"

"There is nothing to explain! You have treated me like I'm less than nothing for nine years!"

I was openly sobbing now.

I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop them.

"Nothing you can say will ever make this better! Nothing you say will ever make me believe that you aren't trying to prank me or that you want to apologise! Just leave me alone!"

He dropped my wrist as though he had received an electric shock.

"Please! Please just leave me alone!"

With that I turned and ran past him towards the car park. I had to get away from this place. I had to get away from him!

_I need to play my piano or something. God! What the fuck is with him today?!_

I drove home, still in tears.

_So much for never crying over Edward Cullen again._

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**Ok, so I dunno if anyone has noticed, but all chapters in this story are named after songs. Sometimes they are songs that I actually listened to whilst writing and other times they are either songs of which I felt the title went well with the theme of the chapter or the actual song itself went well.**

**At the end of the story I will put up a list of the chapters and their songs plus the artists.**


	7. Deceiver of Fools

**B POV**

For the last three days, Edward has been trying to get me to talk to him. It's getting really annoying. He just keeps looking at me. It's sort of creepy, seeing he has wanted nothing to do with me all this time. Why now?

It's finally Friday, which means I get to spend the whole weekend without him having to be in my face.

_At last. That boy has been driving me insane._

Did he truly expect me to believe that he wasn't trying to pull a prank on me?

He had spent every day since we started High School tormenting me. When he had stopped wanting to be friends, my mother had moved me to a different school. It was only when I had started High School that I had been placed back in to the same school as the Cullen's and everyone else from Forks. I had been sent to school in Seattle from the age of eight.

I sighed and walked to my last class for the day. Gym. Urgh. I hated gym. I usually had to sit out because I sucked so much, and no one wanted to be my partner anyway.

Today was no different. I walked in and saw everyone already paired up so I walked to the bench at the side and sat down to watch.

"Aw, no one to work with Swan?!" Rosalie Hale called out.

"Nope. Not that I give a shit."

"Oooo. Swan's got a bark! Hahaha!"

"Well," Jessica Stanley added, "she is a total dog!"

I simply flipped them off and turned my attention back to the teacher.

When school finally finished I had to speak to one of the teachers so I didn't get home for another half hour.

I knew my parents weren't in. Only our house keeper Senna was there, as always.

I loved Senna. She was the nicest person I knew. She had been our maid and house keeper all my life. She had always been a good friend to me. She was more a parent to me than my mother or father. It was Senna who had looked after me when I had been ill. In fact, she had more or less raised me, seeing as how my mother never cared.

Seeing as only Senna was in, I was shocked to hear my piano being played. I was the only person in the house who played at all.

And this? This was perfection. I had only ever heard piano played this well by professionals. I walked towards the family room slowly, overwhelmed by the beautiful, haunting melody being played on my own piano. I wished I could be even half as talented as whoever was playing now.

_Pachelbel's Canon. I love this song!_

Canon was one of my all time favourite classical pieces, and it was being played so perfectly at the moment.

My piano was in a recess off of the main family room, so I crept to peer around the corner to see who was playing.

_Maybe Senna does play...she's never said she does though....Hmmmm._

As my piano came into view, I was stunned to see a mop of bronze hair.

_Edward!_

I stared in utter shock for two reasons. One, Edward Cullen had the audacity to be in my house! And two, he was incredible at playing piano!

I watched as his long fingers danced across the keys with such grace.

Suddenly the song morphed from Canon to a song I had never heard before.

The transition was so smooth and faultless that I almost missed it.

The new song was heartbreakingly sweet and was laced with sadness and a deep longing.

I felt my heart clench at the sorrow of it.

It was so sad that my throat felt constricted and I started to tear up.

I swallowed quickly and pushed the feelings away.

I needed to address the fact that Edward was in my house without my permission.

"Cullen." I snapped angrily.

He glanced over his shoulder at me and continued to play.

"What the hell are you doing in my house?"

"Well," he answered, still playing without losing his rhythm, "you kept running away from me at school. I figured I might be able to get you to listen to me here."

"Edward, get it into your thick skull! I don't want to listen! I don't care what you have to say!"

"You don't care that I want to apologize?"

That bought me up short.

"Excuse me?"

He took a deep breath.

"I want to apologize. For...for everything. For being so awful to you. And, also, for not bothering to talk to you. When your mo-...well, when we stopped hanging out, I should have come to talk to you. No matter what my parents said. I should have tried to at least talk you into giving our friendship another go."

I tried to interrupt, but he spoke over me, continuing.

"Maybe then I would have found out the truth sooner."

"What truth?"

"That you didn't end our friendship."

"Of course I didn't!" I yelled, "You're the one who -"

"No. I'm not. That's just what your mother told you." he said solemnly.

"What? What do you mean that's what my mother told me?"

"After we argued at Newton's party, I went home and my mom wanted to know what was wrong, so I told her that you said I was the one who ruined our friendship. She told me the truth. She had lied to me."

"Why did your mother lie?"

"To protect me."

"How?" I couldn't help it. I was intrigued by the fact that he wanted to apologize.

"She didn't want me to doubt myself or change who I was."

"Why would she think you would change?"

"Because she knew I would have done anything to be able to see you."

_Anything? Just to see me?_

"As it is, I did just that."

"Just what?"

"I changed. I changed because I thought you might speak to me if I did. But by the time I realised that you didn't act the same, it was too late."

He sighed and stared down at the keys as he continued playing.

"You said something about finding out the truth? What truth?"

"The truth of why we stopped being friends."

"And what is the truth."

"That it wasn't you."

I opened my mouth to answer that I had already told him that, but he cut me off.

"And it wasn't me."

"Then who was it?" I hissed, still angry.

"Your mom."

"What?"

"It was your mom who stopped us seeing each other."

"My....mother? Why? How?"

"She phoned my mom and told her that...I wasn't good enough for you. I didn't act like I was from money. That I acted like money didn't matter. She said that I wasn't the type of child that she wanted her daughter to associate with. She told my mom that I wasn't a good influence on you. She said you didn't act like a young lady around me, and I always got you into trouble anyway."

I stared at him in confusion.

_My mother pulled us apart? She's the reason I lost my best friend? He didn't want to stop being friends? My mother, she....lied?_

I knew my mother wasn't exactly the most morally rich woman in the world, but to outright lie to her own child, when I was only eight?! I never knew she could be so truly heartless! I didn't fully believe it until Edward looked up and met my eyes.

He looked truly sorry, and so sincere. I stared back into his bright green eyes and saw that he was really telling me the truth.

I guess my silence worried him because he turned back to the piano, which he hadn't stopped playing all the time we had been speaking.

"You don't believe me." It was a statement, not a question. "I don't blame you. I've been so cruel to you for so long. You have no reason to believe anything I say, but I truly am sorry Isabella. So, _so_, sorry. I can't even put into words how sorry I am. I wish I could take back everything I ever said or did that hurt you."

I heard the pain and sorrow in his voice and just wanted to hug him and make it go away.

I walked quietly over to him and sat down next to him on the piano bench.

"I do believe you." I told him softly. "I'm just trying to accept that my mother is worse than I thought she was...."

"I'm sorry. For everything. I wish I could go back and change it."

I sighed gently. I wanted to forgive him, but he had hurt me so much. I didn't know how.

He wasn't fully playing anything at the moment, just randomly hitting notes.

I raised my hand and started to play the piano piece from The Corpse Bride.

Edward titled his head slightly and he began to play the second part with me.

I stole a glance at him and saw him peaking at me out of the corner of his eyes.

As our eyes met, we both gave each other a shy smile.

"You know my mother's been on at me for ages to speak to you? I guess you've been acting the way she feels you should."

Edward scoffed.

"Yeah, outwardly. God I hate acting like that. I only started doing it because I hoped you might talk to me again if I didn't act like such a freak. By the time I realised you had changed....I couldn't change back. It was too late."

"If you'd just kept acting the same as always, you know we could have avoided this whole situation right?"

"Yeah, I know. I always did tell you I was an idiot though, so what did you expect from me?"

I couldn't help but giggle at that. He did always say that.

"Yes, but you also used to say you were really smart and a genius. So really, you could have gone either way."

Edward let out a chuckle.

"Yeah." he sighed. "Isabella -"

"Bella." I interrupted him. "Please. I hate Isabella. My parents insist on calling me that and people who hate me. But seeing as you wanted to apologize, I'm hoping that doesn't include you?"

"No. It doesn't. Ok, so Bella, then."

"Please."

"Bella, I'm such a fucking moron. I really thought you didn't want to be my friend anymore. I didn't trust in you the way I should have. You were my best friend. I should have known you weren't like that. I mean, you were a bit spoilt, but you weren't like that. You wouldn't have not wanted to be friends just because I didn't act rich. And...I know I've been a complete bastard, and that I've hurt you a lot, but I wanna ask you to forgive me. Please forgive me for being the biggest fucking idiot and biggest fucking asshole in the world?"

He looked up at me through his thick eye lashes as he asked me to forgive him.

His green eyes were so lost and so pleading that I couldn't say no to him.

"Yes." I whispered.

"Yes?"

"Yes. I forgive you. Logically I shouldn't, but...I just want all this to be over. I don't want us to let my mother decide how we should live our lives, like she obviously already has. I forgive you, Edward."

He smiled at me fully now and carefully reached out for my hand.

I let him take it in his own, and smiled back at him.

"Thank you." he murmured.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**There you go guys. She let him explain!**

**Not that he really gave her much choice, but still!**

**Hope ya liked it, darlings!**

**~ ULTRAnumb**


	8. Bollocks!

Fuuuuuuuuuck!

I am such a terrible person guys.

It has been soooooooooooo long since I wrote anything. I'm soooooooo sorry guys! (if anyone still bothers to even look at these) Basically, life sucks and my muse sucks even harder. I WILL, I swear I WIILL, continue all my stories soon.

I have ONE problem though. All the notes I had for them are on my laptop. And it won't log in. Fuck. So, due to how long it's been, I actually can't remember where they are going. Or in some cases, I kinda can, but can't remember any of the filler ideas I had. I either need to get my laptop working again, or try and re-write them after what I have. Or maybe entirely…. Not sure. Hm. I'll let you know. All I can say is, I WILL start writing again. I love my stories, and I so want to finish them. I hope you can all understand, and that you all forgive me. Almost three years. Fuck. I'm SO sorry to all the wonderful people who read and reviewed them all. I only hope I can do you all proud one day with them. xxx

~ ULTRAnumb xxx


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